April 8, 2016

#AndyTalks 026 – Are you a man amongst boys?


Morning Snaps. Just dropped the kids at school; it’s Friday. it’s one of my pleasures being able to drop the kids on a Friday, love it. Dashing to Dublin now. It’s not work; I don’t work Fridays. I work Friday evening, probably. Anyway, hope you’re going to have a good day. I’ll have lots to ramble about.

It looks like I’ve got at least 2 Arsenal fans following me. The very first Premier League game I went to was Newcastle versus Arsenal and one of my friends who’s a Geordie from Newcastle — he got three tickets. Because it was an away game in London against Arsenal we got three random tickets dotted around the stadium. We got there late, about five, ten minutes late and came in and I could hear the buzz of the crowd roaring. . . . coming outwards sort of tunnel area into the corner. I was talking down the steps to get to my seat. As I’m walking down to the corner flag, only who’s running up to the corner flag on the right wing with the ball — remember my first Premier League match and Newcastle fan, not massive but yeah follow Newcastle — it’s only bloody Alan Shearer! Alan Shearer, running up to the corner flag, that’s the first person I saw on a football pitch, a proper. I loved it, ah wow, it was amazing. I found my seat and I wasn’t too far back, I was behind the goals on the left and we got thumped by Arsenal. They beat us about 4-1 or something like that.

Two things I remember from the game, I can’t remember anything else. Dennis Bergkamp had so much time on the ball, that he was just a man amongst boys, he was just so smooth. He got the ball, he was calm, unhurried, ah, he just passed the ball away, no pressure on him it was amazing. The other thing I remember was there was a penalty against us and the keeper was… I could see the keeper and the penalty was taken and he saved it. I can’t remember it it might have been Shay Given even, but at the time I just don’t remember. But because he saved it the whole of the away supporters stand just erupted. It’s like we’d scored the winning goal, instead of being 5-1 down we were only 4-1 down but all these Geordies just took off and they were just screaming and . . . this big massive Geordie to the left of me — he was massive with like a big bald head on him — he just picked me up in a big bear hug and was jumping up and down. They were still cheering for like 2 minutes after this penalty had been saved and the stewards down there in their day glow jackets — you know, crowd control — to prevent people running on the pitch, they were just laughing at each other. They were just looking up at all these lunatic Geordies cheering and jumping around and just laughing at each other, it was funny, it was the funniest thing ever.

So that was a good day and then we kinda went off to the pub and whatnot. But we actually, me and my flatmates lived within earshot of Highbury anyway. So yeah I like Arsenal as well because I just remember that day and it was brilliant, had a great time even though we got beat 4-1 or whatever it was. We just got thumped, but I loved it

[screen: “Minding 3 kids? Nope. Minding 5 kids this afternoon! Industrious or what? Uh-oh.”]

That looks like Minecraft Swords to me. Don’t know what the 3 year old was doing. Don’t know who this guy is; he’s cool though, isn’t he? Now, is that a birthday cake or something with a tail? I have no idea. That’s pretty. Obviously that’s the girl that did that. Love kids drawings and stuff, they always give you a good perspective don’t they? Oh, I’m a funny guy aren’t I?

You can imagine all the mayhem when all the paints and paper came out — “I’m first, I’m first, No I’m first, I’m first.” You know what they didn’t do. They didn’t go, “I can’t do it.” They didn’t go “I’d better learn how to paint more before I have a go, I better do a course on painting. I’d better get a certificate on painting. I need permission to paint.” They didn’t do any of that. Kids, they just do it.

— my all time favorite posts in the FastLane Forum is by a poster called @Vigilante. The title was “What’s Your Best Piece of Business Advice?” someone was asking the question. @Vigilante just had a one word reply and it was the best. So get ready to Snap this. It’s coming, here’s the best piece of business advice from a successful owner. His best piece of business advice.

[screen: “Start”]

Kayla and Riley are still the best behaved at the table aren’t they? So five of them having dinner, three of them messing, so I wanted the three who were messing to stop messing so what did I do? Instead of telling the three who are messing to stop messing or to stop messing or to behave I complimented the two who were well behaved. It’s like magic. Magic I tell you. Do you know why it works though? You’d think it works because you’re complimenting the two who are being good, but actually that’s not what it is. . . . course, kids and people, they want praise; it’s normal; it makes you feel good doesn’t it? But if you’re a parent and you’re on your phone or reading a book or watching the telly and your kid is trying to talk to you and you’re not paying attention, they’re going to start getting up to mischief because even if you’re roaring and shouting at them, they’re getting attention from you. They’re attention junkies, kids are attention junkies. So when I compliment two kids for being well behaved, the others instantly sit down and start eating their food properly because they want a compliment. It’s not really because they want a compliment, they just want the attention. They want attention as well — Oh Connor you’re being good as well.

There is a lesson for us adults in there as well, because we all want attention, compliments and thank yous and to feel appreciated. Often it will drive us to do stupid things, this desire for attention, but if you learn the power of attention and you gift your attention to somebody then good things can happen for you. But you should be just like kids, you shouldn’t study — How do I give attention to people? What’s the best way to give attention to people? — you should just start. Just do it. Be like the Newcastle fans, the Geordies. Didn’t matter what the score was, obviously it did a bit, they enjoyed the “now;” they appreciated it. We’d saved a penalty; we didn’t go 5-1 down; we were just 4-1 down. Wow, that’s amazing, forget the numbers just do it, enjoy it.

[screen: “Do you crave attention? Or do you GIVE attention? Are you a man amonst boys?]